All this pushing to be, and feel like an author, pushed me away from it instead.

I want to share a great discovery with you; I still feel the inspiration of writing! And in particularly; I feel the inspiration of continuing, and finishing my story about George and Stulf!

To be honest, I did not believe that I felt the spark anymore. I thought it was gone.

All this pushing to be, and feel like an author – and a real one, too – pushed me away from it instead.

I was so busy trying to be finished on time – it was very special to me, that the date of the release actually landed on my own grandfathers birthday – the very man I honored by using his name to the main character of the book. It was when I thought about my grandfather – that the idea of George and Stulf came. And it was with his ability to escape into totally different worlds, that I got the idea of a totally different setting in the book.

The release of the book was a very special feeling.

So was the zero-sales of the book afterwards as well.

I did promote my book like I read about, I tried to follow the recipes. But that zero number on my stats just made me feel all worthless. Surely, my book was worth more than that?

Almost three months after, and a lot has happened in between. The short story is that I am very tired, we have a lot of daily challenges to overcome, all this does also take a lot of energy. Finally, I can say that I`ve tried to rest, and to take care of myself. The disappointment of no sales turned to hope for the future with some sales. And finally, I was able to let go of my book, giving it away for free, cause I realized that I by now, rather want to share it with the world, than not selling any, or very few. I have also understood that I love my book, and I am proud of it – very much indeed – no matter how many sales that will come in the future.

I just want to write the story, live it, let go of it, and move on, forever with the boys in my heart.

Of course I want sales as well! But one step at a time. I just want to have fun on the way. Giving myself the permission to be just myself.

Cause nobody else can write that book.

And so it seems, that all this no-pushing to not feel like an author, really attracted me back to it again.

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